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Management Side
Week of 1 Aug 2016: It's corruption month!

Email Jim at jthompson@taii.com

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If you are a new reader, a bit of explanation is in order. In the trade journal business, at least in the northern hemisphere, August is the lightest readership month of the year. So, last year we tried something different to perk up August. We labeled it "Corruption Month" and let Fos, a pulp rat, write the stories. This was a huge hit. So, Fos is back again with more tales from the dark side of the pulp and paper industry and beyond.

For your convenience, here are links to the columns from last August, should you want to go back and review:
w/o 27 July 15 w/o 3 Aug 15 w/o 10 Aug 15 w/o 17 Aug 15 w/o 24 Aug 15 w/o 31 Aug 15

Disclaimer: Any resemblances here to real people, places, institutions or events are purely coincidental. This is somewhat a work of fiction.

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Pulp Rats...an unpleasant story (cont'd.)

By Fos

(Translator: Jim Thompson)

Introduction

Once again, I am grateful to Mr. Jim for translating from my species' language to the big things' language when necessary. And I am grateful you like my stories.

Regards,

Fos

Chapter 7

This year's convention was held in the warm parts again, but not the same location. Last year it was on the banks of a mighty water. This year, it was in more of a swampy area where a very old pulp and paper mill stands. I should say barely stands, the old place is very decrepit, even by rat standards. However, some of the big things who gather millions of quivers away where tall buildings stand had convinced other big things to buy it (along with what I hear were lots of other decrepit old pulp and paper mills), so they are forced to keep it open because they promised yet even other big things they could make a lot of money with it. It appears this is important in one of the places where they trade money (but not the one in the sand where they trade money based on small pictures). I am told this place where they trade money is also where the tall buildings stand, but I have never been there, for as I said, it is millions of quivers away--near the same place where millions of our species live in the subways.

Two twinkles after I arrived, the convention was called to order. The Great Mother stood on a large old metal thing, in a place where she could be seen by all of us.

"I want to welcome you to this year's convention," the Great Mother said. "We are going to start with testimony from Yol. Yol told this story to the Cadre and while it did not directly involve a pulp mill, we thought it important in that it tells how wretched the big things can be. This is a story about what some big things did to other big things, and it is a cautionary tale for us, for if they will do these things to each other, imagine what they will do to us. Go ahead Yol."

Yol stood on a beam about halfway up the wall.

"This story I overheard from one of the most wretched of the big things. I say most wretched, for this sort of big thing goes into courtrooms, much as we have ourselves, and lies, pleads and begs the court for mercy for other big things that pay them money.

"Anyway, this wretched big thing told the story of his experience. There were four male big things that made friends with a female big thing in one place. At least they started out that way. As the twinkle started, they got in the female big thing's BTI and went to a place that spits money out of the wall. They persuaded the female big thing to get lots of money spit out of the wall.

"Then they went to a place where big things rent rooms for a twinkle or more. Three of the male big things decided to go get some funny water and left the other male big thing to watch the female big thing. After a while, he got bored and decided he wanted some funny water, too. So, since he couldn't leave the female big thing alone (she might get away), he simply killed her."

"Oooh!" came the cry from all the rats listening to the story.

Yol continued, "But that is not all. After a while the four male big things decided they wanted to leave. Two of them wanted to go one way and two wanted to go another. But they only had one BTI--the one that had belonged to the female.

"So they went down the halls knocking on doors. Finally, a big thing opened his door. They came in, figured out where his BTI was and then they killed him. Now they had two BTIs so they could leave as they pleased."

Yol was shaking badly as he finished the story.

The Great Mother spoke, "As I said, this testimony had nothing to do with pulp and paper, but I wanted you to hear it so that you can fully understand how the big things' brains can work some times. They can be very dangerous."

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The Rats are talking about staying in hotels, of course, and we need to talk about safety for a moment. Hotel safety is important, just not for fire safety, but personal safety in other ways as well. In training I have received in the past, the following guidelines have been provided about hotel safety:

1. Never stay on the ground floor--rooms on the ground floor are susceptible to break-in.

2. The best floor to stay on is the second--you can survive a jump from the window if necessary.

3. Do not accept a room next to the stairs--burglars target these rooms for the quick exit they can make through the stairwell.

4. Do not accept rooms with a connecting door to an adjoining room.

5. Always leave the television on when you are not in the room to create an appearance of occupancy.

6. Be extremely cautious about opening the door for anyone. If someone comes to the door claiming to be from the hotel, make them wait outside, keep the door locked and call the front desk for verification.

7. In case of fire, do not call the front desk first, call 911 instead.

Be safe and we will talk next week.

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Nip Impressions has been honored for Editorial Excellence by winning a 2016 Tabbie Award!

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