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I have struggled all my adult life with a temper issue. I would like to report that I have conquered this condition and moved on. Unfortunately, the best that can be said is that most of the time these days, I have it under control. The purpose of these first few sentences, however, has been to establish my bona fides on this subject.

An ill-tempered disposition is mostly self-defeating unless one aspires to a career as a pirate. Although, they have not been completely eradicated, pirates' numbers are small and their lifespans short. So, we'll assume you have other aspirations, perhaps even as a pulp or paper mill manager.

I can almost guarantee that if you exhibit a "short fuse" and an angry temper, you'll not make your goal.

So, since it is immaterial, let's just blame your angry, hot temper on your upbringing, since its source is not important; fixing it is.

For me, I have been in therapy for years, largely because of this topic. Hopefully you won't need therapy, but if you do, don't hesitate to seek solid professional help.

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For the balance of this column, I am going to focus on how self-destructive such behavior is to the bearer of it.

Let's start with team building and team leadership. You will not be an effective team leader (that is, manager), if you are constantly lashing out at your followers. Why? Simply because they are going to spend all of their time being defensive and avoiding you. Nothing will be accomplished by a team that is playing defense, especially if they are playing defense with themselves.

Time and again I have observed these conditions within companies. If a leader at any level comes to work every morning in an angry and foul mood, what is the first question their team members ask each and every day? It is simple. We'll assume the leader in question is named Joe. Here's the question: "What mood is Joe in today?" Sound familiar? Old Joe probably has a confidant or gatekeeper who is expected to render this forecast each and every morning. Folks, what do you think this team does for at least the first hour each morning? Figure out how they are going to handle old Joe that day. That is at least a drop in efficiency of 1/8 or 12.5% as compared to a team that does not have to do this.

Joe is not inspiring, even if he thinks he is--he is intimidating. When you live around intimidating people all the time, you spend much of your time thinking about how to avoid them. This is terrible for everyone. Most team members with any ambition of their own will ask sooner or later to be transferred to a position outside of Joe's influence.

The other problem Joe has is that, with such an attitude, Joe himself often makes poor decisions. We don't have to discuss the path down which that leads Joe and his coterie. It is a path of disaster. And, of course, all of this leads to a vicious circle of destructive behavior for all involved.

Upper management notices this. And Joe's career, at least at his current employer, is toast. Joe may pick up and go somewhere else. Joe may also repeat the behavior of the past and then, in two or three years, pick up and move on again. I can name at least a half dozen people in our industry whom I have seen do this. I have watched them move from company to company with the same result.

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If you are a "Joe," have the guts to face this. If you don't know if you are a "Joe," examine the conditions around you and see if I have described any patterns in your career with my simple little vignettes above. Should you have any suspicions you are a "Joe," find a confidant and ask him or her to confirm or deny. If they deny, find another confidant and ask again--you may be so lost in this condition that the first one lied to you.

I will leave you with a technique my shrink has taught me, one that I use when I really feel myself losing control. You may know the feeling--a pressure is welling up in your chest that you think is going to blow the top of your head off. It happens less and less anymore, I am happy to report, but occasionally I get surprised. Then I reach deep down inside and pull out this little phrase my shrink taught me--"Mind over matter." The interpretation of this is rough, but it has pulled me through when I absolutely positively must put a smile on my face--never said aloud, it is a thought that goes like this: "I don't mind and you don't matter." Told you it was ugly, but it has saved me from some very ugly confrontations.

Yet there is even more. Most of the time when I have used "mind over matter" I have internally been able to come back to the people and conditions that set me off in the first place and make genuine friends of them. Yes, I am slightly on my guard with people who were involved in such scenarios, but even being on guard has diminished over time, I can happily report.

So, young professionals, save your career before it is too late. And for you older folks, like me, it is never too late to start. Heck, your kids may even bring your grandchildren to see you at the holidays if they detect a change in you.

What do you think about ill-tempered people and the condition over all? You may take our quiz this week here.

For safety this week, temper has no place in a safety situation. Leadership and a "command voice" do, but they should never be confused with an ill-tempered approach.

Be safe and we will talk next week.

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