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Week of 26 January 15: Get a grip, folks

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We will be going slightly off topic this week, unless your affiliation with the pulp and paper industry requires you to spend a lot of time on airplanes as I do.

In the last six months it has become quite noticeable that many people are traveling on airplanes with dogs and cats these days. I have had several random encounters myself.

Last summer, just as we passengers were about to get on a plane to Chicago, a dog, getting on the same flight, urinated right in the boarding path. All activities came to a halt until a hazmat team showed up to clean up the spill.

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Several times I have heard cats meowing on my flights. This happened back in December when I was flying back through Atlanta on my way to Dallas. On my layover, I went into a Delta Skyclub in Atlanta and was confronted by the largest poodle I had ever seen sprawled out on the floor. It wore a saddle that said "Service Dog" on it. The gentlemen sitting there had the poodle move slightly so I would not run over its three foot tail with my suitcase. I must have given him a look as I went by, for he jumped up, got in my face and said, "You have a problem?" loud enough for everyone in the club to hear.

I said, "Service dog, yeah right." Whereupon he began to dress me down and tell me his wife has emotional problems. I said, in my usual blunt way, "You do, too." What I regretted not saying was, "I wonder who caused those?"

Then, last Thursday, again, coming back from Chicago, I got on the plane and a woman came in with a dog and sat in the window seat in my row. She then began to tell me how she would need to get up during the flight to get things out of the overhead for her dog. I suggested that perhaps we should change seats. Oh, no, she wanted to be by the window (she kept the shades pulled for the whole flight). I scowled.

I put on my earphones and started reading. We taxied out to the runway and the next thing I know we are taxing back to the gate. Since I had my earphones on, I thought I had missed the reason. No, I hadn't. We pulled up to the gate, the gate agent got on and went to the back.

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Next thing I know, he gets off and here comes a twenty-something woman up the aisle, crying loudly, and carrying a carrier with a cat in it. I had missed the cat.

We took off. After we reached altitude and had been served, I strolled up to the front to have a word with the head flight attendant and give the lady with the dog some room. She told me that the paperwork for the dog next to me had on it that the dog was along for emotional support, so it was allowed out of its carrier. However, the disembarked cat and owner only had "pet" on her paperwork, indicating the cat had to be kept in its carrier for the entire trip. She had it out of its carrier and refused to put it in its carrier, hence our detour back to the gate. You have got to follow the rules on the airplane, folks.

I mentioned to the flight attendant that I had been seeing many more of these so-called service animals in the last six month. She agreed and said that she had had a flight a couple of weeks ago with a pit bull classified as a service animal, hence allowed out of its carrier. She said everyone on the flight was concerned.

What the heck is going on folks? Are we so wimpy we can't travel without our pets?

I have mentioned our dog Fred several times over the years in this column. He was even in the title to a column once: "Fred and Balto." He is a dear member of our family. He has traveled far and wide--he has been to 15 or 16 states--in my car. I wouldn't think of subjecting fellow airplane passengers to dealing with Fred.

I suspect this trend is going to do nothing but accelerate (in fact, plans were announced last week for a luxury air terminal for pets at Kennedy Airport in New York to be appropriately named, "The Ark"). However, I draw the line at snakes. If you think you have to have your pet boa on board to have a good flight, please let me know ahead of time. I'll take Megabus. No snakes on the plane, please.

What do you think? You can take our simple quiz here.

For safety this week, it is obvious we should mention distractions. Distracted by anything, from a pet to a thought, takes us off our game when we should be behaving safely.

Be safe and we will talk next week.

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