Thou shall not adopt an attitude that IT is the center of the universe and shall accept that internal clients are the reason thou existeth, not the other way around
Thou shall accept in a subservient manner the posture of working for clients whose job it is to spin the invoice printer and recognize that thou dost not
Thou shalt listen attentively to thy client’s needs and provide feedback verifying their needs using only terms of functionality, not software names or versions
Thou shall be available to clients when and where they needeth thee without complaint, irrespective of the position of the sun nor moon nor thy temperature nor humidity
Thou shall humbly sitteth at thy client’s computer and attempt to do what they wanteth it to do without excuse or complaint and shall immediately retreat to thy office and causeth the hardware and software to behave in the manner thy client desireth without ceasing
Thou shall causeth the software and hardware the company possesseth to work at its maximum peak performance even yea tho it is three years old and there have been five upgrades since its installation, i.e., thou shalt not covet the software thy peers have at other companies
Thou shall not distresseth thy clients by excessive use of multiple passwords of upper and lower cases and numeric content and by forcing them to change passwords every seventh day, yea even 70 times seven
Thou shall striveth to keep all software and hardware uptime above 99.9% without complaint or excuse
Thou shalt start any upgrades no earlier than 1 a.m. on Saturday mornings and shall sticketh with thy upgrade process continuously ensuring that all upgrades, despite unforeseen problems, are completed, yea even fully tested, by Monday morning
Thou shall ask thy clients what functionality they desireth for any new hardware or software before it is purchased rather than just guessing what they might wanteth and pursuing thy own crooked path
A copy of the above, suitable for framing, is available here.
For safety this week, IT professionals unfamiliar with your office may trip over things or tip over cabinets heavily loaded. When they are visiting you, watch out for potential safety trip and fall issues.
Be safe and we will talk next week.
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